Just a few more days until July is over. At the end of the month, my "roommate" is leaving, and I honestly can't wait. I actually should have put "leaving" in quotations as well, because I haven't seen him in almost 8 months. He hasn't actually lived up here since last year, he's just been on the lease and paying his half of the bills. So what I really mean is that I can't wait to cut ties with him. I can't wait to be done with this. It's been nothing but grief since it started. He wanted more than friendship, but claimed he was fine with being my friend when I told him that was all I was interested in. Turns out that was bullshit.
He claimed he wanted to move in with me as my (then) best friend. He claimed he wanted to be my roommate. He claimed he WANTED to help me out as far as watching my 6 year old during the couple of days a week that I had school, for a few months. He claimed a lot of things. Then all of a sudden after he moves up here, it's hassle, and he's aggravated at having to actually KEEP the commitments HE CHOSE to make. That's the part that always gets me. I never asked him to move up here. I never asked him to do anything for me. Everything he did, he OFFERED to do, and claimed up and down a million times that he WANTED TO DO IT. Until he realizes that it sucks having to actually make good on your promises, and then takes it out on me, trying to guilt and belittle me. It drove me nuts, and I just can't wait to be done with it. I just want to sever all ties and not have to worry about someone making me feel like a worthless piece of crap because of their own choices. It got old fast. I'm more than ready to move on.
3 more days until it's done and over with. Then I have no plans to speak to him again. I don't like the way he talks down to me, and I don't like the way that he started treating me differently when he realized that he couldn't convince me to like him and that I was never going to ever have feelings for him. That's not fair. You don't get to degrade someone and treat them condescendingly just because you can't get what you want from them. I am counting down the days until this is over. It's going to be scary as fuck relying on someone else for the roommate thing.... but there is no other alternative. Fingers crossed the new roommate works out & I don't end up homeless with my kids again.
