I'm not even sure why I'm writing in here. I don't even know how I feel exactly.
I guess I'm at a point where I just don't believe anyone, about anything. I'm staying neutral.
I'm too naive && trusting to continue handling things the way I do.
I hate that I always give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
In all actuality, very few people deserve it. It's frustrating to be unable to decipher between honesty && deception. Obviously the average person would be a little sketched out, but they aren't completely devoid of the ability.
I wish I knew what to do.
Sometimes I think I've made up my mind, but then hours later I reprimand myself for my decision.
I go back && forth.
The solitude has helped a lot at least.
I've always said that I find solace in solitude, && it's times like this that reaffirm it.
I just wish the pit in my stomach would go away. && the heavy feeling in my chest; like someone is sitting on me, preventing me from getting enough air.
I hate that shit. I'm beginning to think it's something I will never escape.
History will just repeat itself, like always.